Winded

It is getting harder and harder to find time to sit down at the computer to get the ole blog updated...but I will keep finding that time one way or another. The last week has been okay. No real bad news, but we did get our hopes dashed with Max coming home for the time being. The NICU docs had written an order to get Max a home vent (the vent he will have for the foreseeable future). When the person from pulmonology who orders the home vents stopped by to see Max, she noticed that his oxygen saturation range was 85-100. Apparently Max has to be at a saturation range of 90-100, but this change has caused his oxygen needs to climb above 40% (into the mid 50s). If his oxygen requirement is over 40%, no home vent and no plans on coming home. This was especially hard to hear. We feel like we have been patient, and we were really excited about the idea of Max being home by Christmas. Now that idea seems like a pipe dream. I just want my family together again. I don't care if I never sleep again, I just want to spend time with Kate and our boys, not driving back and forth to the NICU. Right now, Kate and I take turns going to visit Max each day, so the other stays home with Wes. The rest of the day I am either sleeping or at work, so we spend about an hour during the week parenting Wes together, no time with Max together, and maybe a couple of hours on the weekends. It is getting old. We are just worn out and cannot wait until those nights spent apart visiting Max in the hospital can soon be spent together with both boys at our home. We let ourselves get very excited, only to be knocked down for the umpteenth time. It is even more difficult knowing that something as seemingly simple as Max's oxygen requirement is what is keeping him there. I haven't updated weights recently, but Max tipped the scales at 16 pounds 5 ounces last night. He is growing out of 9-months clothes, and he is a 7 1/2 months old micro preemie who entered the world weighting 1 pound 10 ounces. He is officially on the growth chart for kids who are born at term for his age. Everything just seems to be working so well, but his lungs just don't want to cooperate. Please pray that God will grant healing to Max's lungs, and patience to his parents while we try to wait on God's timing to reunite our family.

As you can see from the video below, being in the NICU doesn't seem to bother Max too much. He was ALL smiles yesterday!!

Wes continues to be himself. He has Kate wrapped around his finger something fierce. One little whimper and he knows he gets to take a walk around the house while getting his little butt patted and listening to his Mom sing him songs. Sometimes I think he looks at me with a, "ha ha" type of look. The reflux continues to be an issue and Kate and I are getting sick of it. We have doubled his dose of Prevacid, gone back to drip feeds, and it feels like the reflux/retching has maybe worsened a bit. The surgeon who performed the Nisin G-tube surgery won't agree to another upper GI procedure (an x-ray procedure to examine the esophagus, stomach and upper intestines), he would rather put an extension on Wes' G-Tube so he again is fed directly into his intestines. Kate and I would rather not do this because Wes will be beside himself hungry. We are contemplating taking Wes to a Chiropractor to see if that would help. Pray with us that God will reveal a clear path towards healing, and if He wants to do that apart from medicines and other methods...that would be good with us!! Wes weighed in around 13 1/2 pounds last week, so he is going to have to step it up if he thinks he is going to win any wrestling matches against his big brother in the near future!!

Here are some random pictures from the last couple of days:

Those of you keeping track of the Twinners on the Lamar's blog already know that Adalyn and Emma were born on Thursday morning at 25 weeks 2 days weighing about 1 pound 15 ounces each and 14 and 13 inches long, respectively. I was blessed to met them yesterday with their dad Dave and grandma and grandpa Lamar. The girls are doing great thus far, Adalyn is even breathing on her own with no ventilator and no oxygen!! Quite a feat for such a little girl. There will be a battery of tests and test results in the coming days, so pray for the girls and pray for their parents. We pray that those little girls breeze on through the NICU at lighting fast pace.

It was a real blessing for me to see those little girls as reminder of how far God has carried Max and Wes. It is very easy for me to forget the past and get angry and lose patience about the present, but seeing Adalyn and Emma reminded me that God has never let go of our boys, and he will never let go of the Lamar's girls. I have really been struggling with God's timing in the past few months and it has given way to a lot of anger. Meeting Adalyn and Emma was a really good reminder to me that God is still in control...even after 226-days.