Frustrated

Today has been a frustrating day for Kate and I. She had some regular contractions yesterday, and again today. The doctor (not Kate's favorite) came in and "checked" her again. Part of me knows why the doctors persist on checking her ALL THE TIME, but the other part of me, the rational part, wonders why they continue to do it when they know it causes her so much discomfort and typically spurs on a series of contractions...so then they have to check her again to make sure those contractions didn't change anything. It feels at times like they want her to go into labor again. If their intention is to prolong her pregnancy, it seems odd that they would "stir the hornets nest" every chance they get. The good news portion of this situation is that they still think she is dilated to 2 cm, maybe a little more, so basically no change there!! The doctor also said that he thinks Kate has a rupture. That is all. A rupture. A rupture of one of the placentas? A rupture of her appendix? Her Achilles tendon? Only he knows. But he felt it necessary to tell my pregnant wife who is fighting with all of her mental, spiritual and physical strength for the health and well being of her unborn children that she has a rupture, and just leave it at that. I cannot think of a circumstance where a "rupture" is a good thing. I don't think anyone has ever said, "you just ruptured season tickets to the Denver Broncos."

So all of these things have led to an "off" day. I will reserve the phrase "bad day" for when we are on the Labor and Delivery floor. We are just frustrated. It doesn't seem like the doctors have a real good plan on how to deal with these contractions, and that gives us some uneasy feelings at times. The same doctor that gave Kate a laundry list of unnecessary information this morning also mentioned to her a day or two ago that they are "throwing everything including the kitchen sink at her". Again, what doctor would say that? Maybe I am just too closely tied to Kate's emotional state to know that she doesn't want to hear that kind of stuff. But I also cannot imagine that anyone in a similar circumstance would want to be told that the doctors are not sure what to do either. Kate and I are hoping that God's plan is to let the doctors try all of these different treatments, and when they have all come to their wit's end, He will step in and stop the contractions. We pray that if this is the case, that it be evident to every doctor and nurse that we come into contact with (I would say that is about 50 per day) that any improvement in Kate's condition was not the result of drugs but the healing hand of our Heavenly Father. At the end of this journey, regardless of the outcome, we pray that God be given the glory. Not doctors, not the nurses, not various combinations of drugs, but that God's control over this situation be undeniable. We believe that He has and does use these people and medications to carry out His will, we just want His hand in this situation to be at the forefront.

At the end of the day, the contractions are not gone, but the boys are still in Kate's womb. That is a reason to give praise to our Abba Father. The day has not been uneventful, but our babies have had another day to live and grow in the conditions in which God designed them to.